Life according to...

2007-10-23T07:44:00.000-07:00

Greetings to my six loyal readers.
you will no longer find me clacking away here...
it was time for a new page.
http://lucky-lifeinthedesert.blogspot.com
cheers!

2007-10-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

this morning we both turned and looked at the elephant from opposite sides of the room. unfortunatley, he was looking at the ass end first- the words seemed to tumble out of my mouth in reverse order. i did what i promised myself i wouldn't, couldn't do- i started with the worst case scenario and worked my way backwards.
after a silent week of planning i couldn't believe myself. on retrospect (20/20 vision) i think it must be the best way. now he knows exactly how serious this is to me. and if the major problem we've had threaded throughout our relationship has been a lack of communication, then i owe it to him to be honest.
and we did work back to where i wanted to be. there is no need for dramatics. i was at the end of my rope and it felt like there was no other way but out. we've never been able to communicate. we were both to damaged by our past relationships to open up to each other. he says he'd put walls up that are only just now beginning to come down. only trouble is, i'm trained to those walls. if' they're coming down, i'm still feeling the bump when i run into them.
i want to believe we can work this out. i have wanted to believe it for so long- and i feel like i can't keep telling myself it's going to get better. but then i have to realize that it won't get better until we both try at it. and he's willing to try for the first time. he's willing to work with me. we've both agreed that this won't be solved in one conversation, or in one day. we have seven years' worth of mistakes to unravel. we've both agreed that it can't be just a band aid- if we can't work this out we have to go our separate ways.

2007-10-15T22:35:00.000-07:00

a modern day fairy tale...

cuppa java any one?
a couple of years ago, i stopped drinking coffee. not for any health or religious reasons, but because i decided i only like really good coffee. and since my husband actually preferrs instant coffee (can it even be classed as coffee?) and the crap they have in the teachers workroom is no better, i decided i was better off brewing tea. so i invested in a number of quality teas and carried on with my little life. so why? why oh why? did i accept the gigantic coffee proffered to me by my mentee starfish? because it was such a sweet gesture. and i really was tired. but it was, after all, gas station coffee, and even miss dii, who practically shoots caffiene in her veins, would not take a sip. but let me back up a minute.
this evening miss dii and i revisited one of our old haunts: the PLO. this is a class given by teachers, for the benefit of other teachers. and for all my reservations about her personality, we do make a good team. i like her. i accept the fact she is a snob. and she accepts me with all my faults...
so, starfish, my sweet young mentee (brand new teacher, no training, took the job as we were desperate- teaching positions pay much better than aide positions, just ask T3). although T3 is nowhere near as green as starfish- he's a good kid, but honest i don't think he has what it takes. each day he comes to me with a new career path- one day he wants to be a postal carrier. the next day, he's taken the TSA test (airport security). all the while he maintains to anyone at work that his mission in life is to be a biology teacher. hey, i give the kid credit (i call him kid, although he is three years my senior) as nervous as he is personality-wise, he's holding together rather well. although i have not given up on the little voice in the back of my head that tells me psychos live with their mothers with mundane names like "norman" and surface after much stress to their lives. but, again, i digress.
so starfish appears, a little late, but toting four large coffees, with milk, and several packets of sugars. i've had week upon week of what the hell is coming up next and here he is sweet as pie. he wanted a coffee and thought someone else might like one too. so i take one, no sugar, and proceed to drink it all before it's even gone cold. while it buoyed me up for the rest of the presentation (best we have ever done, miss dii and i!) i found myself slipping back into my old "meth" habits while in the grocery store later in the evening. i arrived home and proceeded to take care of my daily unpacking and unwinding at record speed... and finished just in time for heroes. i thought three glasses of wine would calm me down... but alas, here i am one episode of journeyman later, wide awake and lamenting my folly.
folly- something worth a good laugh- the little mistakes in life should be taken lightly. not held as a knife to the throat, as a threat. what is burnt toast in the scheme of things? a wasted piece of bread, only, until someone makes it so much more than it was. admittedly, it was the last of cheese, and not quite enough for cheese on toast. i was distracted by the slicing of apples- perhaps i should have opened my mouth and uttered the unforgivable curse, "why don't you do it then?" a simple phrase, uttered before the burning of the toast might have produced only grumbligs while shouted after the burning of the toast created much more like a firestorm recalling every burnt morsel of food and every time it wasn't just like he wanted. the last straw was the pie. the pie he'd watched me create from start to finish, he'd watched me fill the tin with skinned apples, sliced thin. watched the pastry come out of the fridge and roll out on the counter. my first ever perfect pastry. he'd watched the crust, laid delicately in the tin receive the pile of sugared apples before being covered by the second skin. i had considered, for a moment, the lattice for the top pastry- but conceded for a slitted skin with leaves in the detail. a lattice would be too much, too fine. i had already achieved enough with this perfect pastry and the thinly sliced peeled apples...
it wan't until the thing was in the oven that it was brought to my attention there were too many apples inside. he's seen many apple pies baked before and there were far too many apples in there. i couldn't believe it. i absolutely lost my mind. i fantasized about taking the thing out of the oven and flinging it at him. i envisioned the apples, stuck to the side of his face and slidig down his cheek as i walked out the door; going i know not where. in the end i left the pie in the oven, slammed the bathroom door, and took a long shower- washing my hair. i never said another word to him that day, while the pie baked, when i went in to check the browning of the perfect crust, when i removed it to cool on the sideboard. i threw a towel over it and left it there for the rest of the day. eventually i left, without a word, i had something else i had to do that day. something that took me away from home, and him.
all the words stuck in my throat this morning as i carried the perfect and uncut pie along with a frozen banana bread out to my car on my way to work. not a word was said by either although the gesture did not go unnoticed. the home baking would be appreciated elsewhere- ironically enough with a cup of steaming hot coffee- cream, but no sugar.
when i got home tonight it was too dark to check on the horses. i had to take the groceries in, open the mail, tidy up a bit. i think buddy will be ok. i should have known it would not work to take him in the trailer, alone. he is getting old and does not tie well (that would be an understatement... when he is tied up he is a danger to himself and others.) it is even an excercise in manners to cinch a saddle on him. too tight, too quick, and he will try to back out of something which is quite well attached to his back and more difficult to loosen. not to mention the last time he saw someone led into that trailer it was his only friend brownie- whom he never saw again.
i should have known not to take him. i had the other horse, the younger horse, the well trained horse. but i'd made my decision, based on a few different factors. and when he didn't load immeditely, i became arrogant and tried to trick him. i put dakota in the trailer, loading buddy in next to him. when i backed dakota out, buddy began to buck and rear, trying for all his might to break the ties binding him to the front of the trailer. in the melee he bumped his head, scratched quite a lot of fur and skin off his rump, and ended laying in the trailer with his head pitifully held up by the tie down. i managed to get him free of the tie, and undid the back door of the trailer and waited. in the back of my head i heard the mr. calling something out to me. i nodded and said yes, i didn't need to understand what he was on about- only to know the horse was ok. if he got up on his own, he would be ok. i knew that somehow. after what seemed like ages, but must have only spread into seconds, he suddenly scrambled to his feet from a still, quick breathing, wild animal. he backed down the ramp and allowed me to take the halter. i walked him around for a bit. i checked his mouth. i checked his eyes. everything looked normal, except for some blood in his mouth. there was no foam at the mouth, no blood at the nose. his eyes looked clear and alert. he walked normal, if slow, back to the paddock. i went to the first aid kit to get the wound spray. there was a buzzing in my ears the whole time. at first, i thought it was the stress, the adrenaline, the moment. but as the buzzing noises formed themselves into words, i realized i was being yelled at. i didn't need telling that was all my fault. i didn't need a play by play of how badly i had F***ed up. especially i didn't need this repeated to me over and over again. not when i needed to calm down enough to drive this truck and trailer and horse out of here for the first time on my own.

The elephant in the room is getting harder to ignore. i've been in this place before, but it was so much easier to identify the elephant when it was leaving me black and blue. the power and control wheel does not leave a mark i can see, nor does it hurt in the way that i can't hide in it. all the things i want to say to him are lost on deaf ears. while he has license to ridicule and restrict my every movement, any complaint i have is met with laughter and a hug. hardly makes me feel like an adult. when this behavior does not suffice, or when i've hit a nerve, he turns my words around, making me the enemy, making the dischord my fault...
he found me at a terrible time in my life. i did not spend enough time rekindling my inner lioness before i was scooped up by the king of beasts. there is hope for us, but this hope relies on his ability to adapt to the changes in me. it's been too long since i've been myself. for a young woman who once had control of her destiny, for whom bad things seemed to miss her like she was charmed, i sure have let the last seven years wash over me and take me further out to sea than i planned. it's a long way back to me. and i'm afraid he won't like me when i get there. he's already started calling me a bitch, telling me i have a bitch face, while the words don't taste as good as some of the other words he used, they are more freeing somehow than the half-hearted compliments...
but that was very negative and i didn't mean it. the complements were not half hearted, if they weren't genuine he would not have to truncate them with insults. i forget he lives in a world of his own. he has created a picture of exactly how things should be (and therefore are) if anyone makes a change to his perfect picture he becomes angry and blames everyone (but himself). i'm not describing a crazy person, but one who is autistic. a very intelligent, very highly functioning very textbook autistic. at this point i would like to stop making excuses for him- i am only presenting this case as what i have to work with.
it's a classic fairy tale, really. he's locked in the tower of his own creation and i have the ability to set him free, but doing so would mean that his world would come crashing down. and he would be forced into a reality he never dreamed of, and with no armor. would he be able to love the one who set him free (for now he can see clearly, but to him it is unfocused, scattered) or would he hate me for all eternity for removing the curse which is all he's ever known.
but simpler still. can his love for me survive my metamorphasis into something more like myself? will he still love me when i break free of the chrysalis he has imprisoned me in? and what an ironic prison it is. all i ever wanted to do was please him, to make him happy. but there is no pleasing him, his tastes change like a woman in a shoe store. i do believe he deeply loves me. if i did not deeply love him i would not have allowed myself to go through with some of the baser portions of our married life. but can our love survive a rebirth of sorts? he has admittied to being in a state of "peeling off the layers of the onion" i've not been sure i've liked the metamorphi that have emerged from the smelly leaves. but each one gets closer to the core. he's finally letting me in, all the way in under that crab's shell and i'm not sure i like what i see in there. i guess it's like a new born baby- looks alien and makes horrible noises but you love it because it's yours.
will i be brave enough to peel off the chrysalis that has been forming around me layer by layer for the past seven years? will i like the creature that emerges to spread her wings? if we are each someone else at the end of all of this, how can we still be in love with each other?

M&M as you know there is always some truth in fiction. my mistake in writing was trying too hard to make something up. writing is just like lying. you have to have something personal in it in order for it to flow like blood without stopping. i've finally got to doing what we three decided i would do and all it took was a little tradegy. when i first began this writing, the reality seemed as bad as this does on the screen. but towards the end, i felt more and more apart from it. my reality will follow this to a point, but i can see the fantasy turning many different and unexpected ways. my dad told me many years ago that writing is like bloodletting. i never really understood until now. the feeling, the emotion must be there. otherwise the words on the page are hollow and empty. writing does not come from outside, but from within. and watching your own life's blood spill into words (metaphorically speaking, of course) is the only way to get the emotion to translate through the coded letters and symbols and affect the blood of the reader.

2007-10-12T18:30:00.000-07:00

Thursday, October 4th was the last installment of my portfolio class. the class was a flat-fee, not subject to financial aid, pass-or fail audition class. yesterday, i found out that i had passed said portfolio class. what this means is: i am now on the road to earning a masters degree in counseling- and in three years i could be a licensed counselor!

On monday i return to work after a week long hiatus (fall break) and the one year anniversary of my "once upon a time in mexico." on monday i have the responsibility of presenting a couple of schedules to my monkey-man boss. i've had an emotional roller coaster of a week....

i don't even really know how to begin to explain it. there's been so many ups and downs, so many evenings bursting into tears... so many moments of manic energy... so many new people in my life ALL OF A SUDDEN...

and i thought i moved to a small town to get away from it all...

2007-09-25T21:28:00.000-07:00

I've had this waking dream i can't get out of my head. Mr. K was driving a team of horses on some kind of stagecoach. except it wasn't in the past, it was in the future- we were driving the horses down an empty freeway in the night. it was so dark in places, we could not see. and he was driving the horses as fast as he could, as if we were being chased or needed to be somewhere in a hurry. we weren't the only ones on the coach, there were others, none of whom i remember or could really see in the dark, i couldn't say who they were. all i remember is screaming everytime it went dark, and he drove the horses faster, faster...

at some point we arrived at my grandmother's old home in del cerro circle- i don't remember the arrival, just the being there. and the house was full of people- many of whom are dead now but they were all there- but like before i never saw them, only knew they were there. there was a closet underneath the stairs and i kept looking inside the closet for something- a dress, i think- that would keep me safe if i found it. i don't know what i needed saving from. i remember all the furniture in the house was wrong, it was all in the same place, but it was all different furniture. i went upstairs to her room and waited there for her, she was there but not there.

I've dreamed many times about this house. i can walk in all the rooms of the house in my dreams and it's never like my grandma left it. it's funny, i never dream of the place she spent the last ten years of her life, the place she moved to after grandpa died. even when she lived there i dreamed of the old place. that house they had bought when it was brand new. they were the first family to live there, and it was when my dad was a teenager. they put in the pool the year i was born, and i swam in it every easter of my life- grandpa would heat the pool and we would all swim whatever the weather. it was the official opening of the pool season, the only time in the year grandpa would heat the pool. i spent every summer in that pool until i was seventeen. we used to call it a mansion, us kids. we were into mysteries, and were convinced the closet under the stairs hid a secret passage, among other places in the house we considered mysterious.

i was living with my grandparents when my grandpa died. when he was ill i would have many waking dreams that i was in walking around the house. i dreamed one time that i walked into his bedroom early one morning, but he didn't see me. he was having trouble getting his shirt on over his head. (he had a brain tumor and when he was ill he had difficulty with motor skills). i woke from this dream and went out my bedroom door to greet my grandpa at the top of the stairs, just exiting his room. wearing a white tee shirt and his hair all ruffled. i always fancied i was there, checking up on him. maybe when i dream of the house i am there again, and others are there with me, others who visit the house because they have memories there. that would explain why i can't see them- but i know they are there. it would also explain the furniture being different...

i don't really know why i'm feeling sentimental, lots of things really. maybe i feel a need to open old wounds and examine them- in light of my career change. everyone seems to agree a good counselor has thoroughly examined all her "stuff" so she doesn't project it on a client. thing is, i don't really think i have all that much "stuff" to look at- or i'm arrogant enough to think i've handled it so well there's no reason to go back on it. but it's bubbling up on its own...

i also feel i should rectify the fact that i never was really honest with the one therapist i spent some time with. of course i talked to her about the most obvious thing that was hurting me, and one other from my past- but lets just say there was another elephant in the room that i wasn't facing. the elephant being the cause of the problem i had discussed with her- one i still haven't worked out quite yet. but i sat in front of her, right before moving to arizona and told her everything was now fine. the problem was gone, and i was in putting some distance in between us. i wanted it, needed it to be fine so i could start my new life. i couldn't bring myself to admit there was a problem. everything will be fine, it will get better.

but i brought the elephant with me. and its here, standing in between me any everything i want to do. i know i have to face this elephant, i have to look at it and admit its really there. but i really don't know how.

2007-09-21T00:02:00.000-07:00

Just got back from tucson. wowed them with my exactly five minute presentation. i just hope the exactly ten page paper is up to scratch. only two more classes to go! in the next two weeks we will be practising counseling techniques and "mock counseling" each other. then i have about a week before i hear if i'm in the program, blah blah blah. i'm not worried about making it. this was the hard part, i'm sure. this class is designed to discourage people from continuing- we started with 21 and have lost one member at each subsequent meeting- tonight a student didn't make it because she was stressing so much she started having seizures. i think the stress might be a bit much for her. me? i'm over the hump. the hard part is over.
tomorrow some of us are meeting for happy hour at el paso restaurant :)
also, the bestest husband in the world, upon finding out i was hosting sorority in a month, decided it was time to replace the sink and the bathroom floor, paint the bathroom, replace the kitchen sink and the kitchen counter. i was never so happy to come home to a mess in my life!

2007-09-13T23:58:00.000-07:00

here i am. relaxing with a glass of wine and trying to wind down after my longest day of the week. i am more than halfway through my 10 page paper, but after attending class tonight i have quite a laundry list of things i'm going to have to change. much of the class tonight was devoted to 5 minute presentations. the presentation was a summary of the paper, in oral format. we were to cover the five points in the paper: (1) why i want to be a counselor, (2) what are the traits of a good counselor, (3) what are my personality traits, (4) what are my skills that transfer from my present career to counseling, and (5) what position will i be in when i graduate from this program? You guessed it, my biggest difficulty was staying inside the five minutes. i have no problem with public speaking, i have no problem talking about myself. i have no problem writing a 10 page research paper- taken apart, these things are peanuts. i don't understand why this class is causing me so much anxiety. but that's the point, isn't it? taken apart, none of these things affect me. but put them all together, factor in a videotaped "mock counseling session," add working full time in an environment or mutiny (i will get to that later), oh don't forget that the university of phoenix courses are accelerated which means that a 6 week course is the same as a 15 week semester course at a normal university... i do wonder how i have time to clean the house, make dinner, go shopping, take care of the kids (animals and husband) carry on with my social life (sorority and vigilettes), oh and when do i sleep? definelty not on thursdays. i'm too high when i get home. to amped. but i am that overachiever that i always was. i'm not happy unless i'm multitasking to the extreme- miss s, i know you empathize.

i must also give kudos to that husband of mine, who was not only instrumental in talking me into this venture- but he is also supportive of me all the way. he is picking up after himself, doing the dishes, washing the laundry (that includes bedclothes once a week), making the bed, feeding and caring for the animals, making me dinner, yes even riding the horses with me so they both can get excercise. not to mention dealing very well with my wild mood swings (he is the master of ignoring me when i'm mental). in the midst of all this excitement, he is still taking care of his business, he bought and repaired a backhoe, which he will soon be using to dig little holes all over the yard with, and eventually he will use it to build our very first home here.

so... back to mutiny on the bounty. the last post was of a special little card i received from a colleague of mine after a particulary stressful meeting. she had gone to the drug store after work and bought us all little pick-me-up presents (post-its, pens and the like). i posted the card because it really described what i felt at the moment, not only my frustration with my current job position. y'all know the stories about my direct supervisor- a trained monkey could take his position and noone would even notice. this little man is so limited, he forwards emails to us that we have already received from other people. is it so hard to check the address line in an email and notice the announement was made to THE WHOLE SCHOOL? he also has the irritating habit of forwarding us all the same email, calling a meeting, and then proceeding to READ US THE EMAIL (i wish i were exaggerating).

i had a meeing with him tuesday which lasted about an hour. most of the meeting was me turing his own words against him. he would give me a definition to contradict what i was tryng to tell him, and i would use his same definition in another situation to make another of my points. he would retort by telling me that is not what he meant, and i would corner him by asking if the definition of which he was speaking had different meanings in different settings. this infuriated him so much that he resorted to shuffling papers on his desk and changing the subject. the high point of the meeting, and when i decided it was time for me to leave, was when he told me it was a "perennial" problem of which he had heard teachers complain for the last 27 years. to which i replied, "what does that word mean, perennial?" he sputtered, "always, it's always been a problem." I heard later that he was asking around for the meaning of the word and looking it up in the dictionary. i am even more satisfied to know that he cannot fire me.

"she who laghs, lasts"

I have to admit, i have no patience for stupid people in positions of power.

Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia defines a perennial plant or perennial (Latin per, "through", annum, "year") is a plant that lives for more than two years.

2007-09-12T15:29:00.000-07:00

2007-09-04T00:03:00.001-07:00

a comment on higher education: i arrived at my class last thursday evening to find i had a paper due already. apparenty i was supposed to divine that i should look at the university website in advance and have a research paper ready for the first evening. ouch. i am enrolled in an audition. if i don't pass this class, i don't make it into the program. no pressure. on one hand, i'm not worried. "graduate level work" has never been a problem for me before, so i should have what it takes to get into this program. on the other hand, my arrogance concerns me: what if i need to try harder? i have decided i am going to wish in one hand and wait for a cow to shit in the other and see which hand fills up first. i am going to make it, i have what it takes and besides, i want this. next!

2007-09-03T23:46:00.000-07:00

well i can't forget about my new baby boy, Dakota. Ten years old, arrived last saturday. a beautiful pait with maybe some arab? some tennessee walker in him? who knows. he's brown and white with a black and white mane and a black tail. he is well trained, but hasn't been ridden in a long time. he was skittish at first, he really wasn't used to people around him. but now he is more comfortable and i can apporach him for all kinds of things: treats, fly mask, halter, bath, pet and groom. he is getting used to having his shoes off and is now wearing easy boots when we ride. oh, and in the backround of this photo is mr k's new love, ck 580 backhoe (why are men so fascinated by ho's?)

2007-09-03T23:31:00.000-07:00

Yes, that is my mom to my right. she came to visit me for the long weekend and i was also able to get the friday and tuesday off, which means that we got to spend five days together. here we are in a photo taken yesterday. i dressed her up in my very first 1880's dress and myself in the other and we went downtown, i think she truly enjoyed swanning about town (as mr. k put it) and having our picture taken, not only by the fartoagrapher, but by many a tourist.

we also had the opportunity, through the american legion, to spend a day with blind vets from tucson. we served them lunch, then we all walked up allen st, saw the shootout at the OK corral museum, took a ride on the stagecoach through town, and had a tour of the historic birdcage theatre. the stories these old gentlemen had to tell... and the amazing transformation- so down when they arrived, but so animated when they left us. i would do it again, in a heartbeat.

2007-08-27T18:08:00.000-07:00

A somber day at the high school.

surreal, like walking around in a movie.

Friday night at midnight, two young men collided on their dirbikes without helmets or headlights. one was a fifteen year old student at my school. the other was a nineteen year old former student. both died. this morning, about three am, a senior in high school and girlfriend of the older boy threw herself in front of a moving car on highway 92. she was also killed.

It seemed like half the student body donned orange and black in honor of the younger of the two boys- these were the colors of his dirtbike. the halls were eerily quiet during passing periods, and classes seemed empty. the conference room was full of teenagers and teachers, counselors and administrators; some inconsolable.

it made me think back to the first person my age to die suddenly. i didn't even know her all that well. we were in the same class, we'd spoken a few times here and there. i can't explain why i felt so bad when she died, but i can only imagine it was something like seeing my own mortality- i was 14 at the time and death was something that happend to some old lady that would send me $5 on my birthday. but then it was real and right in front of me. the last thing i'd said to her was, "see you next year!" she didn't come back after winter break. her parents were driving on an icy road and lost control. three children died in that car, both parents lived. i always thought about them after that. i always wondered what what happend to them. how did they survive losing all their children? like i said, i never really knew the family all that well.

I haven't thought about her in ages. but i thought about her today. and about all the kids who now have experience with death that they might not have had before. i thought of the girl who was so sad at losing two of her best friends she could not go on without them. i thought of the person driving the car that struck her and what would become of them.

2007-08-23T20:03:00.000-07:00

So! I have now debuted my new 1915 dress. That is me, to the right, in black and pink. if you can see the little tiny reticule (purse) on my left arm, that is the one bought in bisbee with my girls when they came to see me last month. (I wanted to post photos of that outing, as well as an entire blog, but was having computer troubles and the photos wouldn't upload and i got mad and gave up. then the lightning blew up my computer and then it took a while to get all my pictures off the old hard drive. good thing i'm married to computer genius!) I am pictured here with the other vigilettes getting ready for a fashion show. To my right is a lady i only met that day and she lives in tucson and is an honorary member. Next to her is last year's high vigilette- she's a bit bossy (note the severe bangs) to her left (in the blue) the only vigilette newer than me (note the raspberry) to her right, the current high vigilette, (directing the show) and in the front the ex-high vigilette's granddaughter who was in the show that weekend and was precious. you can't see well in the photo, but she has an original victorian toy buggy with an original victorian doll inside. the girl did well in the show, she even showed the people her little white gloves and her pantaloons.

the vigilettes do fashions from 1880-1915, but all the ladies do 1880's-90's. i am the only one so far to venture into the 20th century. this is my first attempt! My next adventure involves a 1907 spectator coat with a long eduardian skirt and a really big hat! also, stay tuned, there will be a vigilettes calendar coming out very soon. i am slated to be in four of the photos!

2007-08-20T18:50:00.000-07:00

In about a week and a half, i will again begin attending graduate classes. I already have a BA in English, a teaching credential in California and in Arizona, and now i will be embarking on my next adventure. I am going to obtain a masters degreee in "community counseling" which means at the end of the two year program i will be able to get a job as a practising therapist.

it's not that i don't love working with kids, or being a teacher, or wearing pencils in my hair instead of chopsticks, but to be honest, teachers aren't paid enough to deal with all the crap they put up with. i was making my college bulletin board and stapling up a calendar meant for college bound juniors and seniors. in the calendar there was a little chart which shows the average salaries of graduates of high school, 2-year college, 4 year university, and graduate school. as an arizona teacher with 6 years experience and a graduate degree, i fall right in between the high school graduate and the junior college experience. arizona is number 49 in the nation in teacher salary and education in general. we are followed only by arkansas. maybe i wouldn't have come to this decision if i had continued to live in california- maybe i would have at some point. everything happens for a reason...

which brings me to the conclusion that smart, young people will see the benefits of jumping careers at a time in their lives when they can still fathom full time school at night. i feel sad to be leaving teaching, this is what i thought i wanted to do. but i'm leaning that i'm so constriced by all the litigation, the lack of administrative support, the poor work conditions and the poorer state of our textbooks, technology, and supplies... I feel i could make a difference elsewhere (not to mention some actual salary... the lowest paid therapist is likely to make more than the highest paid teacher).

2007-06-18T19:26:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah and the kids are getting on ok now

2007-06-18T18:56:00.001-07:00

THE TOMBSTONE TROLLOP

So.... Here i am in the debut of my tart outfit. I thought as long as i was rumored to have my boobs out at the bar... i might as well. when i was dressing for the ren faire, i always went as the wench. the wenches had so much more fun! they were allowed to do many things the proper ladies were not allowed to do. so even as a vigilette, i like to undress and go to the saloon as a tart. in fact, i had just been at the bordello at a vigilette function. we had a big party with the intention of recruiting new members. i wore my maroon dress which i haven't worn in a while. after the party, i stripped down to my victorian underwear, donned a blue silk robe, and headed down allen st escorted by my good friend the reverend D. of course we met people we knew along the journey, the first being our oldest vigilette, J. She chastised rev D for being seen on the sunny side of the street with a "shady lady," but then told me i looked fantastic. later we saw the high vigilette, who chastised me for being out in public in my undergarments, but also told me how stunning i looked. after about thirty minutes of being very uncomfortable, i loosened my corset in the ladies' - which also had the effect of bringing the twins down to a less vulgar altitude.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT...
speaking of the twins- i read a statistic that 80% of women are wearing the wrong bra size. so i did a little research and found this website. a couple of measurments and you will instantly know your bra size in several countries. mr. k quipped that mine would not register on the japanese size chart. he was wrong.... I am a 75E in Japan. i'm sure that's good to know.
SOAPBOX OFF....

so... i am a mechanic. well, ok, a lovely assistant. while i cannot pull a rabbit out of a hat, i do have the ability to help mr. k replace the head gaskets on a diesel truck. oh no, there is nothing wrong with the redneck truck- the one we just fixed is the one that he bought for a parts truck just last week. oh yes. being that we live 11 hours from the nearest pick your parts place, mr.k bought a parts truck- the same exact truck- but with a 5 speed tranny. well, after an interesting ride home from huachuca city (didn't anyone ever tell mr.k that it's not easy to pull a slightly heavier truck with a slightly lighter truck? well anyway, the new truck jumped off the dolly and we spent a good two hours at the intersection jacking it back into place. well, he did anyway along with two tombstone cops and two high school kids...) anyway, mr. k looked at the new truck and decided he could fix that. so even though the cylider heads to a diesel truck weigh 103 lbs, mr.k decided to lift them out. not a problem until he found out he couldn't balance them on the edge of the truck and at the same time get out of the engine compartment. good thing i came home then, being a good balancer! it was touch and go getting them back in, we even borrowed an engine hoist from the neighbor! anyway, we did it without damaging the head gasket. you have no idea how much it means to me that i know how all those stupid moving parts work now. and why a diesel head is so much larger than the piston in a gas engine. and why diesels don't have spark plugs.
enough nerdy... enjoy the following beer ad:

2007-06-15T20:11:00.000-07:00

THE TOMBSTONE PARIS HILTON

Well, mr. k has dubbed me the tombstone paris hilton, based on the rumors that seem to follow me everywhere. isn't there a song about everyone dying famous in a small town?

So we have decided that we are going to start rumors about ourselves- the first one being that he is really a woman and i am really a man. let's see how long that one takes to get back to us!

2007-06-13T06:46:00.000-07:00

FOUND UNDER PORCH!

so, yesdterday i went outside in the morning and i heard this squeaky meow from under my porch. i knew it wasn't houdini the rabbit killer, as his while feminine mew is more highly developed. i called my cat-call and out from under the porch emerged this little shaking thing. while she was catious, she did come right into my waiting hands and seemed relieved to be rescued from her solitude. for those that don't know, i live in the desert. i do have neighbors, but fences are few and far between (and usually meant for keeping horses and cattle, not kittens, within the property line. the area is rife with coyotes, bobcats, owls, and even the occasional mountain lion. no place for a kitten!

we took her in and introduced her to houdini the rabbit killer. i suppose that went better than expected- he didn't mistake her for a rabbit at all. in fact, he was quite friendly, only taking one warning swat at her to show who is boss. here they are sharing a morning snack of tuna:

ok, maybe he was a little more interested in checking her out than eating. but i think it's going well. i plan to socialize them together for a short time each day, and allow her to play in the house when he is out. she has her own condo in the shed with a litterbox, food, and water. she'll hang out in there while i am out and when i'm home i'll play with her. she's a good little girl who i've named marley. of course, i'll have to halfheartedly look for a new home for her, but truthfully, she's come home already. i just want to be careful to socialise her properly so houdini does not become put-out.

2007-06-10T17:33:00.000-07:00

Effing Jealous old tombstone bitches with nothing better to do!

Well, i'm already known around here as a husband stealer. like, what would i want with MORE husbands? i've my hands full with the one i've got. and besides, it's not like there is anything desireable in this town (ms. s will vouch for that!)
but the new rumor is that i had my boobs out at the bar last weekend. well, i didn't. i would have said so if i did, by the way! and those of u who knew me in hs are probably like, "well, it is probable!" of course it's probable. but it didn't happen. and so what if it did.

can't wait until more of my girls come visit. let's make a rumor!

2007-06-05T08:39:00.000-07:00

FINALLY!

Ms. S flew in on Friday night and we had a busy busy weekend! This is us when she arrived at the airport. Had a wonderful time, girl!

2007-05-31T21:13:00.000-07:00

well effing well well.
so it's been a long time. and i haven't been reading, either. our dial up was getting, well, silly. so we went with another service, which means that we get the same speed, but we are able to load pages quicker. vis a vi- i don't have to walk off and have a beer everytime i want to upload a photo.
so i had to call the last dial up service and cancel. so they transferred me to INDIA. and i talked to a fella called steve. i swear, they must all take on western names. like i just called idaho. puh leeease! i know he was just following his script, but he wouldn't just cancel me. he offered me one month, and then two months free. i told him that i was getting their 15.95 per month service for 9.99 per month and unless he was going to offer me the same rate forever, would he just cancel my service? ... please? so he finally did. and here i am. speeding along at the rate of a mule.
speaking of mules....
had a fun horsey day today.
the fella i ride with (AL) who by the way is fabulous with horses and has finally fixed my seat (u have dirty minds) suggested that ol' buddy needed some booties on his front hooves. well i was having trouble finding the booties in his size (3) and i had ordered some on backorder. my farrier (Jo) had also agreed that booties would be an improvement. she had connnected me to the manufacturer of said booties and i was gonna call them tomorrow (8-5 moutain standard time operating hours) except that AL phoned to say he'd got me some. well the price was high (damn horses these things are expensive! god help me should i have kids!) anyway, he talked his buddy down and i got a good price. i would just have to show up the next day and meet him at my neighbors (D&C) to make the exchange.
so the time rolled around and mr. K (the husband) had just finished dropping the tranny on the deisel (OMG! i didn't even tell y'all about the jeep incident. well, he was replacing the clutch on the jeep when some pressure plate swung down and nearly sliced his hand off. it was only the fourth time in our married life i heard the words, "we have to go to hospital" but i ended up cleaning it out and holding it together with a band aid as we didn't hit a vein or a tendon.)
sooooooo anyway, the hubby was bored so i said, "why not run over to the neighbours with me on the quad" and the next thing we knew we were there. so i also met another lady who has a mule and wants a riding partner. we're going out monday morning. wheeeeeeee!
so AL and i did the bootie exchange, and D&C's phone rang and someone down the road was having trouble getting a halter on his two month old colt. so we all jumped in our respective vehicles (two jeeps, a quad and a dodge) and ran down the road to see the baby paint horse and AL the horse whisperer. he was amazing. he sweeted that colt into a bridle like he could talk to her. and the mother? concerned? upset? no. she couldn't eat enough alfalfa while her colt was busy. and was the baby stressed? only as much as the idiot owner had made her before AL arrived....
so he and i have been riding every tuesday for a couple months now. it's really great. he's working on my sense of direction and he won't give me a hint as to where we are- i have to find my own way home. and guess what? i can. weird. but hey, everything happens for a reason, right? and then we find out we're practically twins- he was born two days after me- and was married in the same month i was. meant to be, i tell you.
have a great day, i did. gonna go violate mr. k.

2007-02-27T19:39:00.000-08:00

This saturday, Ms. Dii and i threw a double-bubble baby shower. From the left: myself, the mothers to be (both teachers, of course) and ms. dii! We started out with mimosas, tea sandwiches, quiches and cookies. after opening gifts, we played three silly baby shower games. First was the one where you guess how many squares of toilet paper will fit around the mommies belly. next, one where the winner made as many baby names as possible from a baby-showery phrase. finally, a rousing round of baby shower bingo. Oh and of course the one where everyone gets clothespins on their entrance and anyone caught crossing their legs has to give theirs up immediately. (Wierdly enough, one of the mommies was the first to lose hers!) Finally, we had tea and desserts. i didn't get a photo of all the teapots and teacups, (Ms. Dii's idea!) we had five teapots, all different teas, and 20 mis-matched teacups. really cute. for dessert, Ms. Dii had ordered petit fours from a bakery... they were sooo adorable:

We had the festivities in Ms. Dii's teeny tiny apartment. her "special friend" Mister Pii vacated to a friends house and played guitar hero all day and stayed for dinner. I should qualify the term, "special friend." Ms. Dii does not like to use the word "boyfriend" at school. when she mentions something about him in front of her students, she always uses the term "special friend." her students have picked up on this one as well and always ask her, "are you going somewhere with your "special friend" this weekend?"

It is amazing we did pull off such an amazing function... considering we were the karaoke queens in the white trashiest bar in s.v.

In between us is DTR, the wife of a guy Ms. Dii's "special friend" works with on base. I would say she was a friend of hers... but DTR is a little shy yet and we call her husband her "activities director." Ms. Dii thought it was a little weird that DTR's husband called Mister Pii to arrange a "playdate" (no they didn't call it that) between the two women. She's coming out of her shell now, though. she seemed to have plenty to say at the bar- i mean if you started the convo she did.

anyway we had a really good time. Of course i had promised myself that i would leave the bar at about 10:00 that night. i wanted to be home and in bed at a decent time as i knew we had a big day sunday. those plans fell through. At least i was smart enough to only have three beers in four hours! (good me) somewhere around 1:00 Am someone decided that we should go to denny's for moons over my hammy. and it was nice, haven't had an all-nighter at denny's in... well... since HIGH SCHOOL! (remember when, girls!) we played a game of luck involving artificial sweetner- hiding them under the table and each contestant guessed which order they were in (pink, blue, yellow... and why are artificial sweetners in baby colors?) i won, i was the only one to guess all three correct. Ms. Dii was holding them, so i chalked it up to the Psychic link. this is the same psychic link which causes us to cook spaghetti and meatballs with whole wheat pasta on the same evening. So i'll leave you with a final thought...

Military buddy #1, myself, and mister. pii doin the NKOTB strut

2007-02-19T18:27:00.000-08:00

Miss Dii bowling. No, she does not have round, barbie like boobs, those are her hands... and Mister Pii playing baseball... note the stiped pants...

So here I am... mii playing golf. Miss Dii and i to the right playing doubles tennis. I did say they were a lot like veggie tales. and what i mean is at times they don't have arms and legs, and they bounce-walk like the veggie tales.

and they don't really have hands, just little balls when they need to hold onto something...

And here's a picture of the real me, having a good Friday night.

2007-01-27T20:13:00.000-08:00

Que Cera, Cera,

...

whatever will be, will be

the future's not ours to see

que cera, cara

2007-01-22T20:24:00.000-08:00

NO!

i didn't write about my opinion today. i didn't mention roe v. wade in any form and in fact don't care to publish my opinion. because it's my opinion that my opinion doesn't matter.
whatever we think, our government will continue to govern what it is acceptaple to think...
motorcycle helmets and seatbelts save lives. the research is out there. intelligent people can make their own decisions. but it's not that simple. those who "choose" not to wear their safety gear are fined. it's the law. perhaps it causes more people to make the safety choice- it is the law. but where is the choice?
kalifornia is about to outlaw spanking. big concerns- how does the law monitor what happens in the home? this law will only affect broken homes in which one parent elects an elder sibling to become a spy and eventually testify against their other parent in court.
trust me, i have experience in this field.
so who's responsibility is it to make educated decisions? certainly not the citizens of america, no, it must me the government's responsibility to tell us what choices are intelligent (and lawful) to make. fuck prohibition. fuck safety laws. i am still paying of my fucking student loans and nearly ready to enter into a state of being a student. i am intelligent enough to make my own decisions. mr. k is not a schoolboy, never was. but he took his schooling from the streets and he's intelligent enough to make his own decisions.
ok that's a bit of a rant.
*off soap box*
better publish this before i lose my nerve

2007-01-22T20:06:00.000-08:00

as if reality weren't enough...

there are two new famous boys, thanks to simon cowell bollocking them on live t.v. the cowell comment said something about the one kid looking like some kind of a monkey, and yes, the kid had 'tard eyes (i wish i had a photo, but on the third glass of wine and it being sleepytime soon...)
i know the real world of auditions are not pretty, but really i think si and friends have got too comfy in their little hobby hole. autonomous little fuckers. even prissy paula abdul cannot possibly excuse her behavior (propogating buly behavior by doing nothing). which brings me to a point- the state of american relationships is in severe trouble because americans actually believe that it is OK to act like people do on t.v.
for instance: it is ok to be sarcastic and rude to those whom you love because it is funny and laugh track follows. and i'm only speaking of so-called "sit-coms."
don't get me started on so-called "reality tv."
if this is reality, i need to move to morocco.
so here we are, in the 21st century, and what do we have?
GREASE
fuck all y'all. right. you are putting your career and reputation on the line. and getting buko exposure in the process! cry me a fucking river!
even if you choose the biggest idiots to play sandy and danny, half of new york will still pay top dollar to see this production as it was on TV. it cannot fail. and the winners are likely plants anyway, so who cares about the outcome?
i may call simi valley my hometown, but as i move farther and farther away, the place i grew up blends further and further into greater Los Angeles. the town of plastic. the california smile. the phoniness i could only appriciate fully from a vantage point in the middle of nowhere. and the more i see of it on tv, the more i resent the place. how could i possibly equate my 29 years of experience with reality? what frame of reference do i have? there is so much in the rest of the world, and i have seen so little of it! i am already itching to get out of here... and not because i don't like it. i love it here. i could get quite comfortable here. but comfort doesn't allow one perspective- and i'm itching to see what else is out there for me. what other experiences... what other perspectives. it's all a matter of point of view. there are so many vistas in this world and i have only stood on a few.
i know i'm going to have more stamps in my passport, but now i have to wait for a bit. it's a refreshing point of view for me- i came here with the idea of growing some roots. but i now realize that's not what i'm here for. and the next time mr. k says, "it's time to go..." my answer will be. "where next?" instead of, "do we have to???"

2007-01-22T19:43:00.000-08:00

SNOW DAY!

played hooky from work today didn't feel like spinning out on charleston rd.
and in other news...
CGI has made some major improvements- almost life like.
so... movies are going to suck for a while. until the stories catch up with the technology.
maybe i'm really just a book person, perhaps that's why i prefer listening to TV to actually watching it...

2007-01-21T19:16:00.000-08:00

effing snow

I can't believe how effing cold it is. and it's been snowing for an hour. yeah it was fine and all for this to happen on a saturday morning when i could run about and take photos and make a giant snowball to put in the freezer. but tomorrow is monday, which means 5 am, pilates, and driving to work! and excuse me if i am not still a california girl at heart, at least a california driver. i cannot trek through snow, sleet, and black ice to get to work. i am not risking a car accident (i like my little yellow car, she is seven this august) for work. so here is my car, and it's only been snowing for one hour...

as you can see, it is snowing as i type. and as i look out the window, i see people driving around. weirdos.
the upside of all this is i don't have to clean the floor for a few days, why when it is so muddy and wet? so glad we have fake-wood-lino in the single wide. so easy to clean.

poor gnomes!

2007-01-20T07:54:00.000-08:00

this photo speaks for itself...

2007-01-18T22:01:00.000-08:00

in other news

In addition to learning how to plan the novel i have also had a new awakeing: my last computer went to sleep one day and never woke up...
all of my story fragments
...gone...
but it's really more like a new beginning.
starting over
from fresh

2007-01-18T21:44:00.000-08:00

NEXT!

Here is a photo of the house- I bet nobody’s seen that side of the house in six years…

Here is a photo of me (freezing my ASS off) in Quartzite…

Here is a photo of my new friend and I….

We’ll call her miss dii for the time being and that will become apparent later… “Wii!”

So it’s really nice having a friend here. The boys at work, call us NTC and OTC, that means “new” and “original” Teacher Candy…

More on the boys later.

The neat thing is that Miss Dii and I have joined a sorority. Actually, she’s got a binder and I guess that makes her a pledge… and I’ve just gone to my first meeting.

Also she has a nintendo wii and we made characters called mii and marz, they look and move like veggie tales! their hands are not quite attached and it's a hoot playing sport with veggie tales.

but of course they are custom veggie tales, you get to make them look like you (to a point) and pick things like freckles and favorite color ...
anyway i am now obsessed, miss dii and i get together and play all the time!
Right. Love Y'all
and missi missi

2007-01-11T21:55:00.000-08:00

The two day haul

On Dec 28th, K and I set out to bring the travel trailer from CA to AZ. We knew it would be a 2 day trip as it was quite a haul for the truck to pull, and since we were hauling a bed and bathroom along, it really made sense to take the trip in two goes.
When we arrived here, I created an amazing anecdote of the trip saved as a word document (as opposed to saving said draft online) and my computer was promptly eaten by a trojan horse.
K being the genius he is was able to save the pictures, but unfortunately, MY DOCUMENTS was not so easy to access. Easy geeks, he does know how to do it, but it would be a crack and he has enough to chew on right now. but that is another story for another day... so for now i'm trying not to think about all the stories i'd written which are now vapor. ah well, it looks like its time for a new beginning.
so back to the story...
I will post some pics later of the caravan, its a hoot! it took us about 7 hours to make quartzite (after a short stop in a mini mall in Acton where we very nearly had to stay due to traffic- but owing to K's skills, we were able to muscle out of there!) in quartzite we were debating whether it was logical to camp at 7 PM with no TV and nothing else to do. after deciding to carry on with the journey, k's yorkshire radar (cheep cheep) went off and he pulled into what looked like an RV park with a homemade sign. the "office" was a little white caravan in spot #1. i knocked on the door and inquired about the price of an overnight (we had already established a motel room would be $50, and they had no parking for a 35' rig) she told me don't worry about it and merry xmas! K was over the moon.
we asked where we could get a beer and a meal and they reccommended "silly al's" 3 miles down the road. we walked (we weren't in LA!) and had a GREAT time.
There was a cow boy playing a turn on the stage and we got good beer and excellent garlic bread! in addition, i danced with a one-armed cow boy with the word "dude" embroidered in his denim collared shirt. (his left arm was prosthetic, which was convenient for dancing. he was a stellar dancer and was able to direct me on the floor!) he also had the manners to ask K if he could dance w/ me and walk me back to the table and thank K for the opportunity.
after dancing with dude, we noticed my mom's doppleganger was also on the dance floor. weird. of course mom wanted to know if we had a photo- oh yeah, life-size picture of that one, "excuse me, you look just like my mom, could i take a photo?" and to be honest, i didn't know how scary she was up close. didn't want to send mom THAT photo (she could have been a twin-from across a smoke filled dimly lit room!)
well, it's time to put myself to bed. i've been putting it off as i have to sleep alone tonight, K is back in CA watching the H channel and i have to work tomorrow. but i'll leave you with this: i've been hanging out with english teachers and i've finally figured out what i need to do to write my first novel. duh. i have to PLAN it. anywhoo, i'll keep y'all posted. could be a best seller.

2006-11-14T18:27:00.000-08:00

Banamichi

As Promised... Photos

Here is a photo of me singing our National anthem in front of the whole high school (all of 400 kids). the teacher in charge forgot to bring a recording, and i (jokingly) volunteered to sing it. well i was so nervous i forgot the words at one point! and as you can see my ojos are cerrado.

A La Clase De Ingles. the Mexican students interviewed the americans in English class. They had the most trouble spelling our answers on the worksheets, and i was having trouble pronouncing the mexican alphabet to help! oh and then we sang "no hay tortillas..." (think "o solo mio")

The courtyard of the hotel Banamichi, a beautiful place someone has spent lots of money restoring. it's the dearest place in town to stay, cheapest rooms are $60 a night. Each room is decorated with local art, old tin corona signs, and natural rocks and bricks. the honeymoon suite ($80 a night) had a bathtub you could swim in, with jets.

Agua Calientes, a natural hot spring where we had a barbeque. we rode up there in an ancient school bus on an ancient dirt road that wound and wound around the mountain! This little guy (a wasp?) smiled for the camera just as a snapped the photo.

a view of the channels filtering the water from the spring into the pools. each one was cooler than the last, and we hiked up to where the water came up- it was hot enough to cook an egg (but no sulphor smell)

La Lunata, party under the moon. the kid in the far right (purple hair) did not believe i was a teacher and kept asking me to dance i did not know enough spanish to explain to him the trouble we have in this country with teachers dating their students! all i could muster was "soy su maestra!"

at the science museum in Hermosillo, the capital of Sonora. Yes i am on a bed of nails! there was a plastic cover with holes and the nails came up with a motor and lifed me up. it felt... weird.

The last night at the school- there was a dance party. there are no extracurricular activites sponsored by the school, so the teacher there takes it upon herself to have music programs (she teaches guitar), a chior, and a stilts club. These boys were AWESOME! PS- the mariachi was my suitor from la lunata.

2006-11-09T20:21:00.000-08:00

BIENVIENDOS A BANAMICHI

i am writing this message from mexico, on a mexican keyboard, which means i can´t find anything by touch. (the letters are all in the same places, but all the extra keys are mixed up!)
the at key, for instance, is on the Q button. although i can´t get to it by pressing shift, so i don´t really know how it is used. one thing about this trip, is they placed me with a host family in which neither speaks much english. in fact, the two years of spanish i took ten years ago has me more equipped to speak español to her than for her to speak inlgles to me. that´s another cool bit about this keyboard= ñ! it´s right there where the semicolon is on my keyboard at home.
besides being inspired to study my spanish (as i´m suddenly not so bad or shy about speaking like a three year old), this trip has been awesome. will definetly post some pics soon...
traveling to another country with 13 students in three vans is pretty cool. our hosts have kept us busy the whole time we have been here! today we took a 2 1/2 hour trip to hermosillo, the capital of sonora. the furthest south i have been in mexico! we saw museums and had lunch. yesterday, we went to aguas calientes and bathed in the hot springs. all the americans at least, the mexican kids did not go in until much later, when some were thrown in and many went in their clothes. ah, culture! am so glad i decided to be modest and wear a grandma suit- it turns out bikinis are really insulting around here.
mexican school is different as well, the classrooms are bare, nothing on the walls, nothing but desks, a teacher, and a blackboard. there are not students in special ed here, services do not go past elementary. also, everyone wears uniforms.
having a great an exhausting time. soon i will be home studying spanish again...
besos!

2006-11-06T17:37:00.000-08:00

COOL SHOW!

No kidding. one channel and i'm watching it all the time. stupid t.v. like i have time to waste my time on the tube!
ok, i could turn it off. but that would defeat the purpose of the bunny ears. anyway, i do turn it off, on weekends. i am above watching football and nascar. I did, however, watch the NY marathon. YAY Lance Armstrong, in his tenth year of being cancer free- met his goal of running the marathon under three hours, with a few minutes to spare.

but i digress- the real reason for this post-

very. cool. show.
If you like the various movies made in the image of classic comic books, you will appreciate this show. it's about a group of heroes finding out about their superpowers (of course) by accident and coming together from all over the world (for what else?) to save the world.
"Save the cheerleader...Save the world!"

2006-11-03T19:52:00.000-08:00

IN OTHER NEWS

tomorrow afternoon after 1:00 PM arizona time, please think nice thoughts for me as i battle the four hour bubble test + essay. due to my efforts at procrastination, i only have one chance to pass this test and yes it means my credential if i don't. I'm not so worried, i am a highly qualified sped teacher and the test is on special educaction stuff. and of course i am studying. to the point of headaches! and an eye twitch. but it will all be over in a matter of hours and then... the waiting game.

2006-11-03T19:28:00.000-08:00

Rubanesque

there is a certian commercial i have been seeing on television for lotion. The tag line of this commercial is "feel like a woman" or something like that. the visual appears to be classical paintings come alive to use the product, such as the recreation of venus on the half shell here:

the trouble i have with this commercial is the largest model on the screen might fit loosely into a size six. how could they attempt to recreate classical paintings without using proper rubanesque women characterized by pear shapes and small, ponty boobs that splashed the "centerfolds" of the time?

Now, if you wan to read something truly smart, read this BLOG I would also like to add how well timed this particular article is- i had paintings on the brain and here it was. the perfect article to complement my thought process. must be a great mind ;). But since this forward thinking person also uses blgger beta, i was alas unable to comment on her awesome blog- therefore i make my comments here.
Incidentally, while researching, i stumbled on to this witty little piece... a different take on the DOVE ads that are recently receiving so much attention. Just food for thought!

2006-10-26T17:40:00.000-07:00

Another american icon has reached the iconic age of a quarter of a century old...

yep, you guessed it, the WAVE has turned 25.
Who knew that crazy george would one day become a sports icon? i for one had not ever heard of him before. I guess i never did give any thought to the origins of the wave... it's been around as long as i can remember- forever as far as i'm concerned. but do follow the link and read the article- it's a real hoot!

2006-10-22T19:49:00.000-07:00

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
My second Helldorado and my first in proper western dress. And i have to say that while i could rattle off the problems and mistakes in the garment, I MADE MY FIRST western dress and i didn't even have a real pattern. L from the bordello helped me expand a child's pattern to my size and considering, it came out ok.

This style is called a Polonaise and is from 1880's.

There is a bustle in the back,

...and of course i had to make bloomers!
I bought a corset today (10% off for locals!) i know very well i could make one, and i will. someday. but for now i have one.
then i was inspired- with my new pair of bloomers and a corset, all i need is a pair of striped sox and a chemise and i have a saloon girl outfit for evening wear. which will come in handy for next weekend, the 125 anniversary of the OK corral shootout. you know, it's very hard to be a lady all the time.

2006-10-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

Why the hell am i watching t.v.?
more to the point, why can't i tear myself away from gameshows!?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I survived perfectly well without any t.v. for several months. i mean, we have a t.v., and a dvd, and if i was bored enough i would put on a classic episode of the avengers

or maybe a movie... but mostly, i just got stuff done. you know, like important things? but as y'all know, Mr. K is on the cheap side and with no cable out in the boonies he is not about to spring for sattelite. so today he phones me up with this brilliant idea...

yep, you guessed it.
I have a gigantic set of bunny ears on my television. and i have- wait for it- one channel.
It is amazing what one will watch when there is only one choice. I mean, think about it. i could have cable and be flipping through 100 channels of NOTHING. or i could have sattelite and (assuming i could decode the remote) flick through 900 channels of NOTHING. it's rather liberating that i only have NBC and the only remote choice i have is ON or OFF. at least i have local news during the day, that's kind of good... and ambient noise in the house. i have to admit, with the "MR." out of town it gets really quiet around here.

2006-10-02T19:57:00.000-07:00

Y'all

it sounds so good

Y'all.
ever since i took HS spanish from the woman with the arkansas drawl... i have always wondered why there is no term in the english language for "usedes"
except, "y'all."
put concisely, it is the plural of "you." something missing in the english language, carefully replaced by those who would wed their cousins. come on, y'all know what i'm talking about. especially in this great country where 80% of the citizens do not have their passport and we are only not inbred by virtue of so much real estate! i mean look at the british. they spent thousands of years on that island and just look at them! they were so inbred they decided at one point in their evolution that they needed to make a distinction between the highbred (inbred) and the wallers (those that might not marry their sisters) by incorporating Latin rules into their language to make it sound more "refined." well, it made just about the most difficult language on the planet. and they mysteriously left out "y'all."
it is such a useful phrase, y'all. it so easily distinguishes the singular from the plural. i have so often found it to be a useful (albeit embarassing) part of my language.
but that was me as a city girl. now i am a tombstone lady. and while i still have the benefit of all my teeth, my pupils do not balk at my use of the phrase "y'all." for they are mostly from military families and understand the useage.
and for those of you who waited patiently, here is a photo taken from the washes in which buddy and i like to run (note his little ears in the lower right)

2006-09-24T14:46:00.000-07:00

so i went for a ride again today. this week i actually rode tuesday, friday, and today. of course this means i won't be able to actually walk while i am at work for a while until my thighs get used to holding on to a wide straddle...

and buddy's a big fucker, too. 17 hands. that means i have to get my little left foot somewhere between my hip and my shouler in order to haul myself into that saddle!
so today we went a little further than we had gone before... i'm exploring the washes around here because one of them can get me into town- it's about four miles so i'm taking many trips, each one a little longer as the both of us are soooo out of practice. so all the natural washes run through here (ok, nextime i will take my camera...) and they provide the best route into town, as in the most direct, and the clip clops get to run in the soft sand and there are no cars :)
today we took the wash from curly bill all the way to scheifflen- and back a different way using an overland trail. yes, there were plenty of rattlesnakes (heard, but no seen thank you!) at least that's what the rattles are for, right? "i'm here, ok? so don't bother me!" and i'm lucky to have a brialliant horse that spooks at his own shadow-- but fortunately nothing else.
so then we got back by taking the trail up from the wash to the high pressure gas line on the hill with the fence around it, and we had to go around a fence using a little quad trail (oh that's something else cool about this town- it is legal to drive quads and golf carts on the city streets, so everybody does, and in october, there are golf cart races!
which brings me to: I live in MAYBERRY! like i was telling miss s the other day, on my way home from the bordello, i was pulled over for a perdiddle (you know, one headlight) he even made a u turn to pull me over. wanker. so he gave me the fix it ticket for the light, but he didn't comment on my lack of a seatbelt (except to say, "thank you for wearing your seat belt." of course sir! and when i get the light replaced (which Mr. K has done for me :) i am to go to the tombstone marshalls office to have them check it. whee mayberry!
so mayberry aside, buddy and i made it back to to the DK corral and i gave him a bath. that boy loves water, he even drinks it out of the hose and lets me spray his face and even shampu him! he hets onery when i try to comb out his tail and he holds out his foot threateningly. while at the same time i believe he would not kick me- i still move to the side of him. he usually decides it's ok when i break from the brushing to give him a neck scratch or a peppermint treat.
buddy boy is now sleeping in his sipping boots, too. he was sleep crashing and taking the skin off his ankles each night.. but with the support of the boots he doesn't seem to be doing it anymore and if he does at leat he's padded...

2006-09-13T21:51:00.000-07:00

random musings...

i can't actually believe that i was an adult ten years ago. that you read in the news that some big thing happend ten years ago and i'm like, yeah, i remember that. whoa.

i still don't feel like an adult right now. today i wore a new pair of pants to work. they were pretty cool pants, but i thought they were, like, too cool for me. and the boots i paired them up with- even paris hilton would say, "that's hot." but i was too tired to change my mind, and it was only ONLY when i was walking up to the doors leading in to the school...

and the clackers were tittering all around me...

and i felt just like a kid again. all self conscious. like when i dressed up for halowe'en and went to school and sat in the car breathing just thinking "am i the only one!!??" are the clackers tittering at ME? or are they just doing what they do best...

and i had to remind myself that they were just doing what they do, and if i walked by, or did not walk by, or was not wearing fashionable new pants- they would go on tittering. and it had nothing to do at all with me- nothing but the something i put on it for myself...

so i held my head high and said "excuse me!" to the clackers standing in the door rather than sheepishly sliding by, invisible, like i did in high school.

those who know me know the bravado is only a front. those who know me know i have the ability to become invisible- to disappear and reappear.

and all beacause of the clackers i still hear, the clackers in my head, the ones that i remember and still see haunting high school halls to this day.

but i'm an adult- really i am. i have a badge to "prove it."

2006-09-11T19:16:00.000-07:00

Just some really good photos i have taken in town. would like to share...

And this shall have the title "only in tombstone."

And the punchline is i actually know the people that live there. the story goes: the toothless farrier moved to the middle of nowhere to give his kids a quiet upbringing and decided that if he was going to be trailer trash, he would do it proper. christmas tree, all year round, and pink flamingos in the yard. well, he put up two flamingos. the others appeared (or maybe hatched) with the sign:

and after yet another beautiful day... it's raining.

2006-09-04T16:55:00.000-07:00

School spirit? i don't remember having school spirit when i was in high school. but there sure are some spirits at BHS. the first football game of the season was last friday. i have never seen so many people dressed in blue and white! i'm not kidding- over half the school of about 3000 kids. and they weren't just wearing their football jerseys and cheer uniforms, these kids had painted their faces and sprayed their hair. blue and white from head to toe!

and then, just after the pledge, the marching band (one of them, there are two) came marching down the halls playing the fight song. wow. weird. it brought a tear to my eye (and i don't really know why)
and then...

the pep rally. whooo hoooo! 3000 kids yelling and screaming indoors is not fun. but hey, it got the kids going. nextime, i think i'll skip it though. it was a bit much. I do love my new job, though, and the new school is awesome!
yay! happy day!

2006-08-31T17:59:00.000-07:00

My absolutely wonderful husband

popped in on me again this saturday morning about 4AM. this time only one of the doors were locked, so i only got half a lecture. I had spent friday night drinking all by myself and playing around under the stars... so at that time in the morning all i was really good for was a grunt or two. i did manage to get up and get us a couple of waters. of course i was up early ... i had things to do!
The night before, my new friend L and i had gone to tuscon to go to the airport. we had left shortly after i arrived home from work, and planned to be there, shopping, until the plane landed at quarter till seven. you see, Tuscon is about an hour away (1 1/2 hours in the rain, and it was pouring!) and in tuscon is the nearest trader joes, costco, and a discount fabric store that boasts lace for 99c... a card! (i know certain people that are really excited about that!) so with the cooler loaded in the back of the suburban, we were off! L hadn't driven much in the last three years (she was only eligible for getting her license in the states recently- she moved here from england)
so anyway, true to form, we arrived just as the plane was landing. The passengers were picking up their cases so we looked all over, but her friends were nowhere to be seen. we went upstairs, we went downstairs. we checked the flight info AGAIN. no luck. we were petrified. so we went to the desk to check. sure enough, they had boarded the plane. sure enough, there had been some sort of unidentified threat to the plane. they landed the plane in bangor, maine.
this is the flight they were on!
so upon hearing that they would not be in tuscon until the next morning, L and i trekked home, in need of strong medicine (beer) and hatching a new plan in our minds. you see, this was no ordinary visitor to the bordello, this couple had come all the way from england to dress up as an indian, hire a horse, stoll down allen street, and have a standoff with L's husbad, D, in his full cowboy regalia for cameras and such. the original plan was to sneak the indian into the bordello under the cover of night, allow him to breakfast and dress in the am while D was out at the flea market, then surprise him as he was walking into town. now we could not very well sneak him past D in the broad daylight! so after picking them up at the airport, L dropped off the indian and his wife at my sparkling clean trailer (hence getting up early!) where they commenced to open every case they had in search of the right attire. this was the scene at my place on sat afternoon...

yes, he did eventually put on a shirt.
the next thing that happend is i drove the indians to one end of allen st on my pickup to meet the horse. the horse clopped down allen st, many tourists took photos, the indian waved and relished in the attention. i had three cameras around my neck in order to capture the momentus occasion. at the right moment, i directed the indian to the dragoon saloon and ran around the block to catch the moment from the other side.
it all went off without a hitch, and D put on the best performance at all- he had overheard about the "surprise" months earlier- but still put on quite a show for the indian. not to mention, the glass of single malt whiskey he had waiting when i arrived!
good show D!

2006-08-21T17:56:00.000-07:00

My Man is SOOOOOO FUCKIN COOL!

So anyway, I have been a batchelorette for three weeks now. I mean i have been alone. just me and the cat. and my friends, D&L who own an awesome bed & breakfast in town INSERT SHAMELESS PLUG HERE and usually have me over for dinner so i can save myself from another can of beans (I can cook, really. I just don't cook for one, unless i feel like eating the same thing for a week).
But i digress! so friday night i went over to their place because L has asked me to join up with an organization she is a part of. we watched some dvd's of the club they owned in england. cool. went to bed early (what else ammigonnado?) and saturday got a lot done. did all the laundry, brushed and groomed the horses, graded papers, cleaned the house and scrubbed the bathroom. later that evening, i was getting drunk all by myself and decided i would be better spending my time sleeping, so i could wake up early and be productive (you have weird ideas when you are all alone.)
So 'round about two in the morning, i hear a noise. i don't know what woke me up, but i realized there was someone in my house! do i go for the gun? do i hide in the bathroom and call 911? no. none of these thoughts crossed my mind. now we all know what i'm going to do when someone breaks in: i stumbled down the hall in my underwear (maybe i was hoping to SCARE them away?) and what to my wondering eyes should appear?
My K walking down my hallway. so i did what any self-respecting girl would do... i screamed and ran into his arms. standing in the living room was my mom! way cool, K. so we all stayed up until about four in the morning, drinking beers and chatting about whatever came to mind. it came out that they were only there for a coupla days. in fact, they've just left now :(
perhaps it won't be three weeks this time!

2006-08-19T20:02:00.000-07:00

I hate dial up and i hate computers. i somehow pressed the "repost as index only" button and if anyone wants to read my most recent rant, they have to look at my archives for AUGUST.
it's there three times. i will try again to get it up here, im kinda sick of looking at that pic of me in the pink dress anyway

2006-08-19T19:59:00.000-07:00

OK. So I admit. I am a paparazzi supporter. It's one of my many vices (well, only IF you count drinking, smoking, and SEX). Does internet sex count? nevermind.
as i was saying, i have to confess, i support all nearly half the worlds Sattelites. Embarrasing, but true. I actually subscribe to one of these rags. if you must know the truth, i can solve the crossword, and it is useful reading in the bathroom.
Alright. so. to the point.
BURIED in between the riveting gossip headlines, "Nicole Looks Pregnant!" and "Kirsten's Hair 911" is a FOUR page spread (stories in this rag are usually 1-2 pages long, short attention span theatre) entitled, "Paris says: Curves are HOT!" the article features a picture of Miss Hilton in jeans (she might be up to a size 4.)and includes in interview in which she states, "LIfe is too short to be worrying about diets," and admits to indulging in taco bell (she's got the chihuahua), mcdonald's, and cupcakes. The four-pager goes on to show pictures and "estimates weights" of hollywood mavens which have reportedly gained weight despite the norm....
so here i think, ok. this is pretty good. it's a start anyway, maybe some high school girls will read this article and fall in love with their own features rather than falling prety to "water diets" and such the like.
No.
I could not be so lucky.
like ALL hollywood fads, this was short-lived. on the cover of the very next week's issue, "THE NEW DIET PILL: A new secret ingredient helps stars lose weight fast without feeling hungry! Plus, more celeb diet tricks!"
on the cover were: Carmen Electra, Janet Jackson, and Linsday Lohan.
the good thing is inside the same rag were photos of Miss Hilton in a bathing suit, and she doesn't look like she's starving herself anymore. i might actually believe she's sworn off sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ha ha ha

2006-08-19T19:56:00.000-07:00

2006-08-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

2006-08-14T05:12:00.000-07:00

I am no longer a Tombstone Virgin!

my new friend, L, Dressed me up in one of here saloon girl costumes and we went for karaoke. Had a brill time... can't wait to do it again.

2006-08-09T22:16:00.000-07:00

In other news.............

It rained again today. ok, i get it. monsoon. but this was a STORM! no kidding. it was pouring rain. the lightning was soooo close! but i didn't get a shot. i will, though. for sure. someday. here are the poor mammals...

on the upside, there are some really amazing sunrises here.

2006-08-09T21:55:00.000-07:00

Sodium Laryl/Laureth Sulfates

Just thought i'd share a new find. In case you don't know, the above mentioned ingredient (common in shampoos, soaps, and anything you put on your body that foams) can cause the yeastie beasties. if you can't find soaps without, honest, it is better to wash with warm water only "down there."
ok, so many of us are aware that LUSH sells sulfate-free products - for a price (imported from the UK). good news!

I have found a product for less than five dollars that boasts the same (and smells really good too). I got the lavender, but there is grapefruit and another. you can get find out more here.
YAY!

2006-08-06T19:32:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder how goats make friends?

2006-08-06T19:27:00.000-07:00

Don't be jealous ...

It's only four days worth!

2006-08-06T19:21:00.000-07:00

"I've seen hell freeze over."

"This is my version of hell," he said to me in the taco bell line, "all the plants have spines, all the bugs sting or bite, and it's hot and dry and windy. and i've seen it freeze over! That's what i tell my family back home..."
He- was a young military guy, stationed at huacuca, and braving the monsoon at lunchtime. he was unable to get back to bisbee as the hwy was washed out?! is this the middle of summer? weird. if that wasn't weird enough, look what i found in the bathroom last night-

bigger and better bugs, i tell you.

2006-08-04T20:29:00.000-07:00

So here i am.

been a rediculously busy week, spent the most of it trying not to fall asleep. i am serious when i say that teachers "professional development" is about the dryest thing on the planet. here they are, trying to present new ways of engaging students and keeping their interest, and the most creative thing they can think of is a power point presentation. and the library was just a little warm. and the hard wooden chair did not prevent me from passing out. I am sure it was all riveting information. but i guess i missed that part.

and then i got my keys, and my chance to unpack all my teacher boxes. it turns out i have one shared classroom, and one shared office. cool. so i carved out my little niche from among the rubble this afternoon in the office. the classroom was a little better, i set up my little desk in front of a tower of boxes and filing cabinets that i am hoping will move sometime in the beginning of the week when my new roommate comes back from her summer vacation. as for my office space, i have a little island of sanity in a sea of chaos. i have arranged my desk against the wall so i don't have to look at it!
that's the thing about special education. we always get stuck with the leftovers- desks, supplies, everything that nobody wants anymore. since it is so hard to get, say, a paperclip, we never throw anything away. hence, piles of unused and unwanted things in my shared office.

am getting settled into my new home, and into my new spaces. get to meet the students on wednesday, and i'm really excited about that.